


Human Sacrifices

by GeekLover



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Reincarnation, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-17 12:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLover/pseuds/GeekLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Merlin take a trip to an abandoned castle. Ghosts and old memories make it a weird night. And things just get weirder from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Sacrifices

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 31: Modern AU, possible reincarnation: Merlin and Arthur are either USTy best friends or established boyfriends. They take a trip to a castle (whether the castle is a tourist destination, or one they discover accidentally, is up to you) and things get strange fast. What's going on at the castle is connected to the history of Camelot. 
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta dustfinger223. Also thanks to asya_ana who gave it a look and assured me it wasn't as lame as I feared it was. 
> 
> My first completed story for Merlin/Arthur.

_The horses’ hooves pounded against the dirt. Merlin kicked against the horse’s side desperately trying to get the horse to move faster. He kept glancing down at the prone figure in front of him. When he reached his destination, he quickly secured the horse and ran through the woods. Bursting inside the cave he accosted the first person he could find. “Please, you have to help me! Arthur is going to die and it’s all my fault!”_

The pounding against the door was starting to penetrate through the thick haze of sleep Merlin was caught in. “Arthur...” he mumbled, before bolting upright in bed. He awoke to a cacophony of noise. He had two alarms going: one buzzing incessantly and another playing the latest piece of teen pop drivel. He had to remember to change the station.

“Merlin!” A booming voice yelled just outside the door.

“Arthur,” Merlin said softly, before springing up and turning off both alarms and flinging his door open. “Sorry, sorry.”

“You’re completely hopeless, Merlin." Arthur shook his head. "You do realize that, right?”

Merlin nodded and shut the door. Before he could leave, there was a quick knock. Merlin opened the door again.

“You’re late _again_.”

“Thanks.” Merlin shut the door again and rushed off to get ready.

 

~*~

Merlin rushed into the kitchen, hopping on one foot, trying to get his shoe on. Arthur was opening and slamming the cupboard doors, clearly looking for something. He glanced quickly at Merlin, shaking his head. “I swear Merlin, I don’t even know why you bother with an alarm clock. It’s as if your brain refuses to properly function before 8 AM.”

“I set two of them. I am trying.” Arthur closed the last cupboard door with a frustrated sigh. “What are you looking for?”

“My pumpkin spiced tea.”

“Oh...yeah about that, I may have used the rest of it last night.” Merlin grimaced against the tirade he knew would be coming his way.

“You don’t even drink pumpkin tea.” Arthur spun around and glared at Merlin.

“Well, no. But Gwen was over last night and she had a really big row with Lancelot and she really likes that pumpkin tea too, and I wanted to cheer her up, so I made her some and I told myself to remember to get some more but then I…forgot.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. Ignoring Merlin’s stammering he focused his attention elsewhere. “Gwen and Lance had a row? I didn’t think it was possible for either of them to express themselves with anything other than platitudes and peppiness.”

“They’re not cyborgs, Arthur. They can fight.” It was Merlin’s turn to roll his eyes. For some reason, Arthur had always hated Gwen and Lancelot. Well maybe hate was too strong a word. But he definitely was not their greatest fan and was constantly making jokes about their relationship, even to their faces.

“Whatever. I don’t care. Merlin, when I agreed to let you live here there were certain, I think more than fair, rules-

“I wouldn’t exactly say they were all fair. I can’t even eat in my own room.”

“That’s for your protection, as well as mine." Arthur turned and put the kettle on. "I’ve seen you eat, Merlin. If you stained my white carpet, I’d probably have to kill you.”

Merlin took out some bread and placed it in the toaster. “I’m sorry Arthur about the tea. I’ll pick some up on my lunch break, if I ever got one and if I still have a job when I arrive. The dragon lady said that if I was late again she’d kill me, then bring me back just so she could kill me again.”

“I don’t know why you continue to put up with that woman. Why are you working for someone who constantly belittles you, pushes you around, and expects you to wait on them hand and foot?” Arthur poured his tea.

“It’s my job. That’s the life of a PA. I can deal with it. She said that she might actually take a look at my script...maybe...in the next few months,” Merlin mumbled. He furiously spread marmalade on his toast and jammed almost the whole thing in one bite. He tried to talk, spraying bread crumbs all over. “It’s not like you have it any better. You’re working for your dad, who instead of giving you the promotion you’ve worked so hard for is making you do his own personal version of _The Hunger Games_."

“Don’t be so dramatic, Merlin," Arthur scoffed. "A little healthy competition is perfectly acceptable in this business.”

His father, Uther Pendragon, was the head of a very prestigious advertising firm. Everyone knew that Arthur was supposed to be his successor, but when his sister Morgana decided to join the family business, instead of making a decision Uther pitted the two against each other, and said that whichever one had brought in the most revenue at the end of six months would get the job.

“I don’t call the kind of tricks Morgan is pulling ‘healthy competition,’” Merlin complained.

Merlin hated Morgana and he hated feeling like that. He honestly liked everyone. As much as his boss drove him crazy there was something about her no-nonsense truthfulness that he liked. But Morgana was different. He always felt she wasn’t to be trusted and her latest stunt hadn’t disabused him of that notion. Morgana had arranged for Arthur to get stuck in the elevator at the office and took a meeting with an important client, and secured the job. Arthur could have been hurt and Merlin had wanted to throttle Morgana when Arthur had told him.

“I thank you for your concern, Merlin, but you don’t have to worry about me. I can handle, Morgana.”

Merlin nodded, still feeling unsure. He grabbed his coat and keys by the door, but stopped suddenly. “You’re not standing me up, are you? We’re still on for tonight, right, Arthur?”

“Yes, we’re still _on_ for tonight, Merlin." Arthur grinned. "Would you like me to pick you up, have some flowers and candy? You make it sound like a date.”

The tips of Merlin’s ears got really red and he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. “D-date? What are you on about? Who said anything about date? The word date never left these lips.”

“Don’t get so squirrelly, Merlin. I was kidding.” Arthur laughed. “I told you I would help you and I would. I’ll pick you up after work.”

“Thanks.” Merlin said as he rushed out of the flat. As he got to his car, he stopped short when he looked across the street and noticed a gray haired man watch their house with an unflinching gaze. Even when their eyes made contact he was unfazed and unapologetic about his staring. He simply nodded at Merlin and walked away. Merlin slowly resumed his walk to his car, feeling cold all over.

~*~

“Merlin, I want you to know that there are times when I really, really hate you and just to be clear, this is one of those times.”

Merlin frowned at Arthur, though he did understand his frustration. They had been practically driving around in circles and had been lost for more than an hour. They were on their way to an abandoned old mansion that Merlin was sent a link to an article about on his Facebook page. The Dragon Lady was set to direct a horror movie and was having trouble finding the perfect location. Merlin made it his mission to try and find a suitable place. When he read the article, he thought he’d hit pay dirt. A couple on holiday had gotten lost and somehow stumbled upon an ancient castle that must have been at least 500 years old.

When he told his boss about it, he thought he would be rewarded for his efforts. The only thing he was rewarded with was more work. She had assigned him to scout out the location and take pictures of the mansion, preferably at night.

This was how he found himself and Arthur driving out to the outskirts of the city, in an isolated area near the woods. Merlin had gone online to find out as much about the location as he could, but not much was known about it. When he tried to contact the person who linked him the article, the account was already gone.

The GPS was taking them in circles and Merlin’s suggestions were not helping. Arthur was tired, hungry, and frustrated, which led to him snapping at Merlin constantly. Merlin would never admit it to Arthur, knowing he’d be skinned alive, but while he was frustrated with being lost, getting to spend this much time in close quarters with Arthur was not a bad way to spend a Friday night, even with the insults.

He turned to Arthur and smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I’m just telling you what the GPS shows. I told you a hundred times you should stop and ask for directions.”

“And I bloody well would have, but as you can see there isn’t anyone around here in the land of the lost, and hasn’t been for a while. I swear Merlin, if we don’t find this place in another ten minutes I’m turning around and heading home. I’ve too much work to do this weekend after Morgana’s stunt today.” Arthur had a presentation at work and Morgana managed to switch Arthur’s video with footage from some gay porn. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look so mortified,” Arthur said about the potential client, Mr. Bayard. “And I don’t think I’ve seen someone so flexible in all my life,” he said referring to some of the performers.

Merlin felt really bad for Arthur, knowing how embarrassed he was. But picturing the man’s face evoked giggles in Merlin that he tried hard to suppress. He covered his mouth but was shaking with laughter.

“It’s not funny, Merlin!" Arthur turned to look at him and glared when he saw Merlin laughing. " Mr. Bayard was so disgusted he shot up in his seat and ended up tripping and falling into my dad’s lap.” Instead of silencing Merlin’s laughter, his laughter intensified. Arthur turned away shaking his head. But the more he thought about it, the more absurd the situation became to him and he started to grin. Soon he and Merlin were laughing so hard Merlin's stomach began to hurt.

Merlin looked over at Arthur and smiled. Watching Arthur laugh was one of his favorite activities, the way he threw his head back and his laughter boomed and let his guard drop. He could watch him for hours like that. Arthur turned to him and when their eyes met, Merlin turned away abruptly. And just as abruptly he screamed, “Arthur, stop!” There was a raven haired woman in the middle of the road, her face hidden in shadow. The tires screeched and Merlin was jerked forward as far as his seatbelt would allow. When he looked up the woman was gone.

“What the bloody hell, Merlin! Are you trying to get us killed?”

“I swear, Arthur, there was a woman in the middle of the road. I don’t know where she could have gone!” Merlin scanned the road frantically looking for the mystery woman.

“Probably back inside your head, with the other figments of your imagination.” Arthur sighed. “But it looks like your idiocy led us to the right place.” He pointed over to the right.

Merlin looked over, and though it was partially hidden from view, he could see the marker for the road they needed to be on. He should have felt relieved, but there was tightness in his chest, and a feeling he couldn’t describe. He didn’t say anything as Arthur turned onto the road. As they drove further on the area became even more desolate. There were no buildings or homes around and the trees became fewer and fewer. And the trees that were there were gnarled and had no leaves.

“If Morgeuse wanted creepy, she’s certainly got it. I think your boss will be very pleased, Merlin.”

Merlin absently nodded. He could see the mansion, which seemed more like a castle, not too far up ahead. They drove up as far as they could, but there was a gate blocking the rest of their path. They parked the car and headed the rest of the way on foot. As they got closer, Merlin’s wariness increased. “I feel weird.”

“You are weird, Merlin. I thought you would have gotten used to it by now. I certainly have,” Arthur replied.

“There doesn’t seem something off about this place, this area, to you?”

“Of course there’s something off about it. That’s the whole point,” Arthur said.

Merlin nodded, conceding Arthur had a point. They stood ten feet in front of the ruins of what looked like it had once been a beautiful castle. There were still patches of white on the exterior, but it was mostly black now. There were several looming towers, with crumbling turrets. There was an area near the back that was completely gone, a crumbled pile of stone in its wake. Merlin closed his eyes and when he opened them had an image of what the place once looked like. It felt so real, as if he’d seen it before. He glanced over at Arthur and he had a faraway look in his eye. “Are you okay?”

Arthur dazedly looked at Merlin and then blinked, seeming to come out of whatever trance he’d been in. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” He paused and took a deep breath. “Aren’t you supposed to be taking pictures or something?”

“Alright, I think that should be good.” Merlin snapped a couple of shots with his camera and then walked away briskly.

Arthur grabbed his arm. “I don’t think so. I didn’t waste hours of my life traveling over here, time that I could have spent getting pissed after the day I’ve had, just so you could take two photographs and call it a night. I think Morgeuse is going to expect a lot more than that.”

“You want to go inside?” Merlin squeaked.

Arthur gave him a “duh” expression. “You’re not afraid are you? This place has got nothing on castle Grayskull.”

Merlin smiled. “Castle Grayskull” was a nickname Arthur, as a child, had given to a castle in Ealdor where they grew up. Arthur had dared Merlin to go with him to check out the place one night. They had ended up getting lost and spending the night there. Merlin was completely embarrassed when he thought about his reaction, which was to cry for his mum almost the entire night. To his surprise, Arthur didn’t insult him at all. He took charge and assured Merlin they would be alright. He made a fire and found them something to sleep on and watched over Merlin the entire night. He was only ten, but that was the night he realized that he fell completely in love with Arthur.

“I really don’t want to be stuck here all night.” Merlin whined.

“We won’t be. And even if we are, I protected you then and I’ll protect you now. I always will,” Arthur vowed.

If he wasn’t so afraid of getting a tongue lashing, and not the good kind he’d fantasized about, Merlin would have kissed Arthur. Instead he nodded and walked up the stairs to the door. He tried pulling it open, but it wouldn’t budge. Merlin almost sighed in relief, but then Arthur pushed him aside.

“Allow me, Merlin.” Arthur got it open with one tug. “You really need to get to the gym and work on your upper body strength.” Arthur teased, walking in past Merlin.

Behind his back Merlin just gave him a two fingered salute. He walked slowly inside. Once inside, he felt chilled to the bone. It felt like it must be twenty degrees inside. “Is it _freezing_ in here or is it just me?”

“Just you.” Arthur was staring up at the high ceiling and turned to gaze at the spiraling stairs that seemed to go on forever. He walked towards it.

Merlin walked quickly behind him. He was shivering so much; his teeth were starting to chatter. Arthur stopped walking and took off his jacket and put it on Merlin. He rubbed his hands up and down his arms. “Better?”

Merlin couldn’t find his voice and merely nodded.

Arthur climbed up the stairs, followed by Merlin. The walls were all black and it smelled as if there had been a fire, but Merlin kept having flashes of the place looking pristine and beautiful. “I just have this incredible feeling of deja vu.”

“It’s just because of what happened at that castle when we were kids. I’ve never been here before and you haven’t either right?” When Merlin nodded, Arthur went on. “Just take your pictures, there’s nothing to be scared of.”

As they walked through the castle, Merlin kept turning behind him, feeling as if he was being followed. He thought he heard a faint whistling sound. Merlin opened a door that seemed to have been someone’s bedroom, not that there was anything left in the charred room. Merlin took a few more pictures. When he stepped out of the room, the whistling he had heard earlier returned, this time louder and more insistent. Arthur was several feet in front of him. “Do you hear that?” He called to Arthur.

Arthur turned to him and cocked head to the side. “Hear what?”

The sound was gone. Merlin shrugged. “Never mind.”

When they got to a long hallway, Merlin lifted his camera and froze in place. The same raven haired woman from before was standing at the end of the hall. At least he assumed it was the same woman. He still couldn’t see her face and her dress was in tatters. Merlin thought that maybe it was just a trick of the camera, but she was still there when he lowered it.

“Arthur, look!” He turned to Arthur and pointed at her.

Arthur looked to where he was pointing. Arthur scrunched up his nose. “Look at what? There’s nothing there.”

Merlin whirled around. Arthur was right and there was nobody there. “But...I don’t understand. She was right there. It was the woman from the middle of the road.”

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. He seemed to be warring between being concerned for Merlin and being annoyed. “When we get home I’m going to find you someone to shag, since you keep seeing random women everywhere.”

“Not random, it was the same woman.”

“Yes, because that’s less crazy.”

“I am not crazy..." Merlin groaned and ran his hands through his hair roughly. "You know what, forget it. Let’s just look around here quickly and leave, okay.”

“Fine by me.”

Merlin tried the first door he could find. He walked into a barren room, save for one solitary, dusty bed. It was a large room fit for a king. When Arthur walked in he stopped just inside the doorway. His eyes widened and he staggered against the door. Merlin was by his side in an instant. Images flashed by in Arthur’s mind: running around in this bedroom as child, watching his father being dressed in armor for battle, lying by his father’s side as he told him stories about tournaments he’d won, his father laying in that bed, dying. Things that had never happened, but he somehow remembered in detail.

“Arthur? Arthur?” Merlin shouted at him.

Arthur stood up and pushed Merlin away from him. “Your crazy is starting to affect me. We need to get out of here.” Arthur rushed out of the room. Merlin hurried to pick up the camera he’d dropped when he rushed to Arthur’s side. He started to walk out only to hear the whistling sound again, this time growing louder and more piercing. It evolved into a piercing scream that brought Merlin to his knees. He covered his ears. The sound subsided after a few seconds.

He was breathing hard as he stood up. He looked around the room frantically. Seeing nothing, he hurried out only to be flung back inside the room. He struggled to get up and found all the breath leave his body when he saw a figure across the room. The man’s face had ugly burn scars down the right side and an ax sticking out of his chest. Merlin screamed.

“You killed me, Merlin Emrys.” The man stated while tugging at the ax in his chest. “I will have my revenge and my face will be the last you ever see.” Merlin started to hyperventilate as the disfigured man pulled the axe out with a sickening, squelching side. He heaved it above his head. Merlin screamed again and closed his eyes. An image flashed before his eyes of an ax hurtling toward his head. He was wearing weird, old clothes with a neckerchief. The next image was the ax somehow changing course and striking the man.

“Merlin!” Arthur bellowed as he came rushing into the room. Merlin didn’t open his eyes until he felt Arthur begin to shake him. “Merlin?!”

Merlin opened his eyes. Arthur was staring at him with wide eyes. “A man...burned...I killed him?” Merlin couldn’t make sense of it in his head.

Arthur’s brow furrowed. He took Merlin’s hand and pulls him up. “”What’s happening to you?” He asked nervously.

Merlin let Arthur lead him down the stairs. But he stopped suddenly. He could hear a faint whispering, but couldn’t make out what he was hearing. He stopped Arthur in the middle of the stairs. “Can you hear that?”

“Merlin, the only thing I can hear is the sound of my heart beating. Let’s go.”

They made it down the stairs and Arthur opened a large door. Merlin hesitantly followed Arthur. The room was large and mostly empty. A large table stood at the end of the room, cobwebs all over. Merlin found himself drawn to the front of the room. Arthur followed him. He sat in one of the large chairs, as if by instinct. He ran a finger down the dirty table. “What do you have to do to find a decent servant these days?” He laughed. He turned to Merlin, who was staring straight ahead. Arthur stood up.”What’s wrong?”

Before Arthur could reach him, Merlin dove toward him knocking him down. Arthur hit his head and was dazed for a few seconds. Merlin knelt above him. “I’m so sorry, Arthur. Are you alright?”

Arthur blinked up at him slowly, before shoving Merlin off of him. “No, I’m not alright. What the _hell_ was that, Merlin?” Arthur stood up, rubbing the back of his head.

Merlin shook his head, looking toward the empty room helplessly. “I thought I saw...there was a knife, no, a sword, being thrown at you. I had to...protect you.” Merlin finished quietly.

Arthur looked at Merlin. He didn’t look annoyed or confused any longer. He looked scared. Scared for Merlin or of Merlin, he wasn’t sure. Arthur walked to Merlin and took his shoulders gently. “I think it’s time to go home.” Merlin didn’t say anything, but followed Arthur.

They were almost to the door when Merlin heard the whispering again, this time more distinctive. “Merrrrliiinn.” It was a woman’s voice. “Or should I call you Emrys.” She didn’t sound menacing; there was a seductive quality to her voice. “I can’t let you leave here...Not until I get what is owed to me.” Arthur was tugging on the door handle, but it wasn’t budging. “Not until I get what you stole from me.”

“Fuck!” Merlin turned to Arthur, who was holding his hand gingerly. “Something burned me!”

Merlin grabbed Arthur’s non-injured hand and ran. “We have to find another way out of here!” They ran up the stairs and flung the doors open. It wasn’t a bedroom. There was a large, dusty table in the middle of the room and cobwebs around the chairs around it. Merlin had another flashing image, he was still in the weird clothes with the neckerchief and Arthur was wearing equally old clothes. Arthur put an arm around him. _“The wonder is he’s such an IDIOT!”_ Merlin sighed, almost in relief. It was the first image that actually seemed normal.

“What are you smiling about?” Arthur asked and looked down at his hand.

“Nothing.” Merlin came over and took Arthur’s hand in his. “It doesn’t look too bad. We’ll get it looked at when we get home.”

“And just how are we going to do that, Merlin?” Arthur ripped his hand out of Merlin’s.

“I don’t know yet. You got us out of castle Grayskull, don’t you have any ideas?”

“Why should I have to think of something? This all your fault?” Arthur sat in the high-backed chair at the front of the table.” He sat up when he had images of the room looking completely different, filled with men, and his father holding court over them all, with him at his side. Arthur shook his head. He didn’t understand what was happening to him.

“Why is this my fault all of a sudden? I didn’t drag you here. I didn’t get us stuck here?” Merlin retorted.

Arthur stood up and placed a hand on the table. “The only reason I agreed to come here with you is because I knew you couldn’t do this alone. And what do I get for my trouble? I almost get a concussion, second degree burns, a crazy best friend, and...” He curled his hands into fists. “You can’t do anything without me, Merlin, and I’m getting tired of it. We grew up together. You went to the same university as me. You’re living with me. You’re always there. And I always end up having to think for you and take care of you. It’s time you grew up, Merlin.”

Merlin looked down, stung by Arthur’s words. He had no idea he felt that way. He tried to keep the emotion out of his voice as he responded. “If I am such a...burden to you, why are we still friends?”

“Because,” he swallowed thickly. “Because _you_ need _me_.

Merlin just looked at Arthur for a long moment; Arthur with his held high and staring stoically at Merlin, and walked to the doors. He turned back to look at Arthur. “You are such a liar, Arthur Pendragon. You need me, just as much as I need you.” He walked out.

“Fuck,” Arthur muttered. He banged his hand against the table. Simultaneously he choked on dust and felt a sharp pain having accidentally slammed his injured hand against the table. “Bugger!” He hadn’t meant to take his frustrations out on Merlin. And Merlin was right: he was a big liar. He rushed out of the room. Merlin was getting ready to enter another room. “Merlin!”

Merlin turned to him. They stared at each other for a moment. Before Arthur could say anything, he was flung back into the room, the doors shut behind him immediately. “Arthur!” Merlin ran over and tried to get in, but it was no use. He continued to bang on the door. “Arthur! Arthur!” He briefly flashed to an image of a large creature looming over Arthur and the creature being killed...by him? He shook his head. It wasn’t him. Whatever was going on wasn’t real, was it? He didn’t have time to ponder this right now. He had to find a way to Arthur.

He rushed down below to see if there was another way out, if there was somewhere Arthur might have been taken. He heard the whistling again. He covered his ears and turned a corner and saw a young woman with wavy brown hair, dripping wet. She had some kind of weird staff in her hand. She pointed it at Merlin. “You killed my father and you killed me. You’ll pay for that.” Merlin closed his eyes and saw himself pointing the same staff at an older man and killing him with magic and then doing it to this same girl. When he opened his eyes, she was gone. He walked over to where he had seen her. There was a large gate blocking steps below.

Walking down the steps, he felt overcome with the feeling of deja vu, more strongly than in any place he’d been before. He found himself in a dark cave. He looked down below and couldn’t see where the ground was. He looked up and suddenly leaped back as he saw a gust of fire heading toward him. He clung to the wall behind him. He breathed hard, realizing it was just another hallucination. As he put his head between his knees and closed his eyes he saw an image of a large dragon. He was fighting against it with magic.

_“You will never see me again”_

There was a deafening roar after that. He shot up and raced out of there. Once he was out of there he heard Arthur calling to him, somewhere above him. He raced back up and went from room to room. He was about to burst through another room, when he heard screaming not far from him. He hurried over and the screaming got louder and louder. It was definitely Arthur. His heart began to ache immediately. Merlin had always pictured Arthur as the kind of man that wouldn’t scream even if he were being tortured. He’d just look at his foe and smirk, knowing that they’d be begging him for mercy soon enough. Whatever was going on was breaking Arthur.

Merlin tried kicking down the door, but he wasn’t strong enough. He fell against the door sobbing. He didn’t know what to do. “Arthur!” He cried out.

“MERLIN!” Arthur cried.

Merlin could feel rage, fear, and love building up inside of him. Something was happening to him and he didn’t know what it was, but he was feeling stronger by the second. He stepped back from the door and took two slow steps back. He raised his hand and with a deafening roar he blasted the door. Wooden shards flew everywhere and he covered his eyes. When the dust settled, he rushed into the room. Arthur was lying on the floor. He rushed over to him. He was unconscious. Merlin felt his head and gasped when he saw blood on his hand. But he quickly realized it was just a vision. But he was realizing this wasn’t just a vision. However crazy it seemed, it was a memory.

He looked around the room and suddenly was assaulted with memories, fights with Arthur, dressing him, preparing his bath, cleaning, bringing him his meals, laughing with him.

_“I know I’m just a servant and my word doesn’t count for anything...I wouldn’t lie to you.”_

_“You’ll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of Camelot.” Merlin crooked an eyebrow at Arthur when he saw the ridiculous hat Arthur intended for him to wear._

_“I can’t order you to lie to the king, but you’ll be a friend for life if you do.”_

_“Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times...”_

_“Just... don’t be a prat.”_

He’d known it before; the memories brought it all back to him. The one constant in his life was his love for Arthur. He couldn’t lose him now. He slapped Arthur’s face. “Arthur! Arthur, please wake up. I need you. You’re a prat, a stupid, egomaniacal prat, but you were right. I need you. Please!”

It took a few seconds, but Arthur began to stir. Merlin let out a huge sigh of relief. Arthur wasn’t fully conscious yet but Merlin managed to stand Arthur up and throw his arm around him as he made his way downstairs. It was a struggle, but he managed to make it downstairs without dropping Arthur.

He set him down and glared at the door. Merlin didn’t know if he could get the magic from before to work. He’d had such a surge of adrenaline then. He was still worried about getting Arthur out of there, but that same feeling wasn’t there. On a hunch, he tried the door handle again and the door swung open. Whatever magic had been keeping them there was gone. At least for now.

~*~

Luckily for Merlin, Arthur fully regained consciousness once they were outside and they got to their car. Arthur still seemed dazed and out of it, so Merlin drove. Merlin kept glancing at Arthur and was unnerved by the way Arthur was stiff as a stone and stared straight ahead, not even blinking. “Arthur?” He waited for him to look at him, but he didn’t. “Arthur, do you know what happened to you? Who was hurting you? Why were you screaming?” Still nothing. Merlin drove on, keeping an eye on Arthur.

When they got home, Arthur went straight into his room and shut the door. Merlin hesitated before going over and knocking. “Arthur? Are you sure you want to be alone? Don’t you think we should talk?” Silence. Merlin put his head in his hands. He paced back and forth. He didn’t even know where to begin trying to figure out what happened that night or why? He hadn’t gotten any memory flashes since leaving the castle. He was so sure that they had been memories, but now his certainty was wavering. Maybe he was just hallucinating.

He stopped pacing. _No, no_ he thought. Even if the visions, the things he saw weren’t real, what he’d done to get to Arthur was. He had used magic. He had magic. He didn’t know how, but he had it. He could feel it thrumming through his veins even now.

He just didn’t know how to use it. He groaned loudly and stalked over to the kitchen. He opened the freezer and stuck his head inside. For some reason the cold air usually helped him clear his head. No such luck tonight.

He went to his room and groaned when he looked at the clock. He had two hours before he was supposed to be up and getting ready for work. He threw himself on his bed. It was just as well that he stays up for the two hours. He was bone weary, but didn’t think he’d be able to fall asleep. He wished he could call out sick from work, but he knew he’d have no job to go back to if he did. Though at this point he wasn’t as concerned with his future career as he was worried about what happened in his past.

~*~

“Huh,” Merlin snuffled loudly. Something was poking him. His eyes slowly blinked open. It took Merlin’s eyes some time to adjust to the sight before his eyes. As soon as it came into focus, his eyes widened and he jumped back against his headboard. Arthur was standing in front of him. Naked. “Arth-Arthur,” he panted.

“Merlin, you have to be the worst servant I’ve ever had. What in the hell are you still doing lying about? Get off your lazy arse and get my breakfast, put out my clothes, and draw my bath.” Arthur held himself like the son of a king, even standing their buck naked.

“Arthur?” Merlin took a deep breath to collect himself. This had been a dream of his for a long time, but he hadn’t pictured it _quite_ like this. “Why aren’t you wearing any clothes?”

“Haven’t we already established it’s because you’re an idiot, Merlin?”

Merlin closed his eyes and his first memory since the previous night came to him.

_“I no longer require your services.”_

_“You’re sacking me?”_

_“I need a servant I can trust.”_

_“You can trust me.”_

_“And look where it got me this time, get out of my sight!”_

He felt like he was back in the moment once again, feeling the same humiliation, sadness, and disappointment. When he opened his eyes again, Arthur was looking around wildly. “What’s going on?” He looked down and gasped, covering up his crotch with his hand. “Why am I naked?!”

“You don’t remember?”

“NO!” He started backing away. “I must have been sleepwalking. Right? Yes, that is the only explanation.”

“I don’t think so. Arthur, do you remember anything about last night?”

“I can’t talk about that right now. I have to get dressed.” He rushed out of the room.

Merlin shook his head and chased after Arthur. “Arthur, wait, we have to talk about this. You called me your servant.”

“So?” Arthur grabbed boxers and put them on quickly. Merlin hated to admit it, but he felt more than a twinge of disappointment.

“So?” Merlin asked incredulously. “I am most certainly not your servant. At least not in this life, I’m not.”

“What do you mean ‘this life?’" Arthur ducked into his bathroom to finish getting dressed.

“Haven’t you ever heard about people having past lives? Um...reincarnation,” Merlin shouted through the door. “There were things that I saw last night. I don’t think I can explain them any other way. And I...I think you saw them, too.”

Arthur opened the door and pushed past Merlin. “I don’t know what you’re prattling on about. I didn’t see anything. Just because you’re going crazy, don’t try to drag me with you.”

He tried to push past Merlin again, but Merlin grabbed his hand lightly.

Arthur shook his hand off violently, turned around and shoved Merlin hard. Merlin hit the wall and was too stunned to speak. It’s not as if he and Arthur hadn’t gotten physical before, but it was always more playful, boyish messing around. It was never done out of anger, like Arthur did just now. Arthur’s gaze was steely and he did not look apologetic. “I told you I don’t have time. Now leave me alone.” He stormed into his room and slammed the door.

Merlin slid down to the floor. “What the hell is going on?”

~*~

By the time Merlin came out of his room again, Arthur was gone. Merlin sighed deeply. He got some coffee to go and left for work. As he headed to his car, he noticed the same gray haired man from the night before staring at their flat again. Enough was enough. “Hey!” Merlin called out to him. He ran down the stairs. “I just need to talk to you.” He ran across the street, but he turned when he heard a loud horn beeping and a car swerved to avoid hitting him. He exhaled deeply and looked to where the man had been, but he was gone. “Fuck!” Merlin screamed. This wasn’t a coincidence. Merlin was sure the man was connected to what was going on with him and Arthur.

~*~

Merlin hit his head a few times on the steering wheel. He had been complete rubbish at work. After screwing up her lunch order and almost serving her something she was allergic to, Morgeuse had told Merlin to go home. She said that she had to think about whether it was worth it to keep him in her employ. Merlin just could not stop thinking about Arthur and his behavior this morning. There was something wrong and he had to try and figure out some way to make sense of this. He decided to go and see his Uncle Gaius. His uncle was a history professor, and had a side hobby of collecting occult artifacts. If someone could figure out the strange and unusual things happening, it would be his uncle Gaius.

~*~

“Sorry, Merlin I can’t help you.”

Merlin gaped at his uncle. “You don’t even know what I’m going to say.” He had just shown up at his uncle’s and before he could get a word in Gaius was practically slamming the door in his face.

“You either had a mishap at work or a problem with Arthur and, I’m sorry Merlin, I don’t have time right now. I have 100 papers to grade.”

Merlin didn’t know whether to be offended at Gaius’s assumption or sad that he was that predictable. “Gaius, this really is an emergency. I need your help, please.”

Gaius took a look at his face and opened the door for him to step inside. “Do you want some tea?”

“No, thank you.” He took a seat on the comfy beige couch in the living room. Gaius took a seat next to him. “You weren’t wrong.” Gaius arched an eyebrow at him. “I mean when you thought my problem was about Arthur.”

“What happened?”

“Arthur came with me to check out this old castle that my boss was thinking about using in her movie. It took us forever to get there, we got lost. And when we arrived, it felt strange immediately.”

“Strange how?”

“It was unnaturally cold. It’s July and trust me this is not a place that has air conditioning. And then I started to hear and see....things.” Merlin paused. He knew he needed help, but was worried about Gaius thinking he was crazy.

Gaius was patient as ever. “Merlin, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what happened.”

“I don’t exactly know how to explain it, Gaius. I saw myself, I saw Arthur. But we weren’t dressed normally. It was like we were living in another time. Riding horses, wearing armor...I was Arthur’s servant.”

“Are you saying you were remembering a past life?”

“I don’t know. I think so. And the memories, visions, whatever they are, weren’t even the scariest things happening. There were, I think, ghosts that kept attacking me, saying I’d killed them. They used m-magic.”

“Magic?” Gaius’s eyebrow shot up to the ceiling this time. Any higher and it would be orbiting the moon come nightfall.

“I know, it sounds bizarre. But I know it was magic, because I used it too,” Merlin said in a small voice.

“You think you have magic?” Gaius asked incredulously.

“I think so. But I only used it the one time and I don’t know how to how to do it again, or if I can.” Merlin got up and started to pace. “And there was this dark-haired woman, I saw her twice. And she, I think it was her, said that I stole something from her." He shrugged. “I don’t know what’s going on, Gaius. And Arthur’s acting strangely now.”

Gaius got up and put an arm around Merlin and led him back to the sofa. “What happened to Arthur?”

“I don’t know.” Merlin shrugged helplessly. “We got separated. I tried to find him and when I did he was locked in this room, and he was screaming.” Merlin’s voice was thick with emotion and he started to shake. “I’ve never heard anything like it, Gaius. It was the most scared I’ve ever been in my entire life and that’s when I used the magic. I pointed my hand at the door and it burst.”

Gaius shook his head slowly. “This is frightening and I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you. I have a few old books on magic. I’m not sure about reincarnation. There are some druids that I’ve heard of...”

Merlin started to tune Gaius out. _Druids_ He closed his eyes.

_“No doubt, you’re here about the Druid boy.”_

_“How did you know?”_

_“Like you I hear him speak.”_

_“Why does he call me, Emrys?”_

_“Because that is your name.”_

He shook his head as he was immediately hit with another memory.

_“Please, you have to help me! Arthur is going to die and it’s all my fault! Gaius thinks that you may be able to help. Please!”_

_A man stepped forward from the shadows._

_“We will do whatever we can. How can we help you, Emrys?”_

Merlin gasped as he opened his eyes.

“Merlin, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Merlin staggered backwards and sat on the ground. “I think I know who may be able to help me. I had another memory. Arthur was dying and I went into the woods and I found this cave. The druids were there. I asked for help and this man said he would. I’ve seen that man here. He’s been watching Arthur and my place for at least a couple of days now.”

“Have you spoken to him?”

“I tried to today and he just disappeared.” Merlin stood up suddenly. “He has to come back. I think he can help.” Merlin ran to the door.

“Merlin, wait, what are you going to do?” Gaius caught up to him at the door.

“I’m going to stake out our flat all night if I have to. He has to come back.”

“And if he doesn’t?

Merlin shook his head. “He will, he has to. There has to be a reason he was there in the first place.”

“Just be careful, Merlin.” Gaius gave him a warm embrace.

_“You saved my life, remember?”_

_“But that was magic.”_

_“And now it seems we finally found a use for it.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I saw how you saved Arthur’s life.”_

_“Oh, no.”_

_“Perhaps, that’s its purpose.”_

_“My destiny.”_

Merlin soon opened his eyes and smiled at Gaius. “I just had a memory of you in my past life.”

“You did? What was I doing?”

“We were talking about Arthur...”

“Some things never change,” Gaius quipped.

Merlin chuckled. “Then you gave me a book of magic.”

“I just can’t get rid of you, can I?” Gaius smiled. He hugged Merlin again.

~*~

Merlin did just as he had told Gaius. He waited in front of his flat all day. But the gray-haired man never appeared. Arthur had shown up early in the evening and brushed right past Merlin without looking at him. The sun was beginning to rise. Merlin decided to take a little break and get something to eat. When he stepped inside, he could hear the water running in the bathroom. He opened the refrigerator door and was rummaging around in it. He took out some yogurt and when he started to walk to the drawer to get a spoon, he slipped, hitting his knee hard against the floor. “Fucking buggering shit!” He looked down and saw a puddle of water at his feet. “What the...”

He could see a trail of water leading from the hallway. His breathing became very shallow as he followed the path of the water to Arthur’s bedroom. He opened the door and felt the water in the carpet squelch beneath his feet. He rushed over to the bathroom and gasped. Arthur was in the overflowing tub motionless, staring ahead. Merlin ran forward and turned off the faucet.

He grabbed Arthur’s face and tried to get him to look at him. Merlin could see that Arthur’s skin was incredibly wrinkly. He wondered just how long Arthur had been in the tub. Was he there all night? “Arthur? Arthur, look at me!”

Arthur blinked slowly at him. “Merlin? Merlin, what’s happening?” He looked at Merlin and brought his hand up and stroked Merlin’s face tenderly. “Merlin?”

In that moment, he looked at Merlin with so much love that Merlin became paralyzed, too afraid to move, to breathe, to speak for fear of having this moment broken. But he realized Arthur needed to get out of the tub. He helped Arthur up, wrapped him in a towel, and brought him back to Arthur’s room. He got up to get Arthur some clothes and when he came back, he found Arthur looking up at him, his face twisted in disgust. “Arthur?”

“This is the second time I’ve woken up to find myself naked with you. What is going on?” Arthur wrapped the towel tighter around himself.

“What’s the last thing you remember from last night?”

“I came home and I drew a bath and....” Arthur trailed off, scratching his chin, thinking. “I remember...” He got a faraway look in his eye and swallowed. “That’s not possible.”

“What? What was it?” Merlin stepped forward in two quick two steps.

Arthur shook his head. “This is preposterous.” He looked over at the clock. “Fuck! Now, I’m going to be late for work.”

“Screw work, Arthur. This is important,” Merlin yelled. He was reaching the end of his rope. Arthur was clearly remembering things too, but kept resisting and Merlin didn’t understand why. Arthur had been a prince for Christ’s sake, why wouldn’t he want to remember that?

“Of course you would say that, Merlin.” Arthur hurriedly put on some pants. “You don’t know what it’s like to be an adult and be responsible and hold a steady job. You’d prefer to waste your life being an assistant for someone who is never going to do a thing for you, insisting that she’s going to make your pathetic dreams come true.”

“Fine, I’m a pathetic wanker. Are you happy? What did you remember?”

“It was just a dream, Merlin. You were my servant and we were in some kind of cave. There were skulls everywhere and I was attacked by some kind of...beast. It kind of looked like a large serpent. I don’t remember anything after that. And it doesn’t matter.” Arthur finished dressing. “I told you, it was a dream.”

“It wasn’t a dream!” Merlin insisted.

"You really expect me to believe these are past memories?” Arthur laughed cruelly and walked out. Merlin followed him.

“Yes! You were Prince Arthur and I was your servant...”

“That sounds about right,” Arthur retorted.

Merlin gritted his teeth and went on. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on. But apparently I stole something from some woman and you were tortured in that castle, I don’t know why. You didn’t see anyone after we got separated that night?”

“I don’t remember anything. I must have hit my head or something. And you must have, too,” Arthur said. “Clearly, you’re suffering from some sort of brain damage.”

“Arthur, please...”

Arthur stalked over to Merlin. His eyes bore into Merlin’s with an intensity that Merlin found unsettling. He backed up a little as Arthur came closer. “Merlin, I’ve always looked out for you. I did it because I felt sorry for you. You were an orphan that could barely breathe without screwing things up. You clearly do not have the brains or social skills to make it in this world without someone else propping you up. But I’m done. You’ve gone round the bend and I don’t know why and frankly, I don’t care. But if you want to remain living here, you need to seek help. Because I will have no qualms about kicking you out on your psychotic arse. Do you understand me?” Merlin didn’t say anything, but Arthur seemed to take that as confirmation and left, leaving a shaking Merlin behind.

~*~

Merlin spent the rest of the day alternating between waiting outside for the Druid man, cleaning the watery mess in the house, and doing research on-line. In his desperation he decided to try and seek out the couple from the article sent to him, the people who had stumbled upon the deserted castle. The couple’s names were Lisa and Tyler Ferguson. He was able to Google them and come up with a number and address. He tried the number but found it was disconnected. They were only an hour drive away, so decided to head out and see them.

He got to their house and noticed that it looked deserted. Old newspapers were stacked in front of the door and the mailbox was stuffed. He walked up to the house and knocked on the big red door. He wasn’t surprised to find no answer. As he left, he spotted a neighbor, an old woman, eyeing him suspiciously. He walked over to her and she tensed immediately. “Hi.”

“Hello.” She looked him up and down warily.

He pointed back at the house. “I’m looking for Lisa and Tyler Ferguson.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m, uh, a friend of theirs. Wanted to stop by and pay them a visit.” Merlin hoped she bought it. He always thought he was a terrible liar.

“You’re too late.” She shook her head sadly.

“What do you mean by ‘too late?’" Merlin asked with some trepidation.

“It’s such a shame what happened. They always seemed like such nice people. I don’t understand how they ended up like that?”

Merlin was about to tear his hair out with the woman speaking so slowly and vaguely. He tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice. “What happened? Are they dead?”

She nodded. “I heard loud screams one night. Tyler came out screaming. He was ranting and raving rubbish about someone coming out of a necklace and killing Lisa. I was scared for my life.” She shuddered. “Police came and took him. He was in that psychiatric hospital Broadmoor, but I saw on the telly that he killed himself.” She put a hand to her heart. “It’s such a tragedy.”

“Yes,” Merlin replied weakly. He felt sick to his stomach. “When did this happen?”

“Four days ago.”

 _Just before all this started_ , he thought. He looked back at the old woman. “Thank you for your time.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

He nodded absent-mindedly and walked off. He sat in his car trying to process everything. _A woman coming out of a necklace_ It would have seemed preposterous to him days ago, but there was something about it that felt familiar now. He closed his eyes.

_He could see himself holding a long silver chain with a large clear amulet with silver bindings covering it. He looked down at the chain skeptically. “How is this supposed to help me save, Arthur?” He looked up at the Druid man._

Merlin was breathing heavily as he came out of the vision. He had the same question as before. How was some strange necklace supposed to save Arthur? And could it do the same thing now? He looked back at the house and saw that the old woman had gone back inside. He crept back to the house. He hoped desperately that these were the kind of people to leave a spare key under the mat. He crouched down and moved some of the newspapers aside. _Yes!_ He found the spare key and opened the door.

He walked through the house as briskly as he could, trying not to make noise, as not to arouse the neighbor’s suspicions. For an apparent crime scene, the house seemed to be perfectly in order. If there was some kind of confrontation, it wasn’t a messy one. Merlin searched the house from top to bottom but didn’t see the necklace from his vision. As he had feared, if there was a woman that came from that necklace, she had taken the necklace with her.

He drove back to the house trying to wrack his brain and figure out what his last vision meant and who the woman could be. But nothing was coming to him. It started to rain as he approached his and Arthur’s flat. As he walked out into the downpour, he stopped suddenly.

_”Arthur was never destined to die at my hand and now it seems I will be his salvation,” Nimueh said smugly._

_“To save a life there must be a death. The balance of the world must be restored.”_

_It took Merlin only seconds to contemplate this. Saving Arthur was the most important thing in the world to him. Arthur was a great man, destined to do great things. He had to be saved no matter what he had to sacrifice. “I willingly give my life for Arthur’s.”_

_“How brave you are, Merlin." Nimueh smirked. "If only it were that simple.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Once you enter this bargain, it cannot be undone.”_

_“Whatever I have to do, I will do,” Merlin said forcefully. “His life is worth a hundred of mine.”_

Merlin fell against the steps to his flat.

_He saw himself holding up a golden cup in the rain._

He stood up shakily. That was the woman from the castle. He remembered the red tattered dress and wavy black hair. He ran up the steps. For some reason he had thought the woman was Morgana. He knew he disliked Morgana, but he didn’t know why he thought it could have been her. He walked into his flat and was surprised to find Arthur there.

He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised. It did take him quite a bit of time going to and from the Ferguson’s house, plus the time he spent searching the place. Still, it wasn’t even dark outside yet, though it was getting close. Merlin was even more surprised to see Arthur was drinking wine and looked...happy. “Arthur, what are you doing home so early?”

Arthur turned to face Merlin. He smiled brightly at Merlin. “Is that any kind of greeting, _Mer_ lin.”

“Are you pissed?” Merlin blinked at Arthur.

“No.” Arthur looked at the glass in his hand. “Well, perhaps just a tad. I’ve had a very good day today, Merlin. I wanted to celebrate. I wanted to celebrate...with you.”

Merlin smiled. This was quite a shift in attitude from the morning, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. “What are we celebrating?” Merlin walked forward and picked up the extra glass on the dining room table. “Did you get that promotion?”

“I did.” Arthur took a gulp of his wine.

“How did that happen?”

“Morgana was arrested.”

Merlin spit out the wine he’d just drank. Arthur laughed. Merlin put down his glass shakily. Something was wrong. Apparently, Arthur’s sister had been arrested and he was behaving as if he didn’t have a care in the world. And now Merlin had just spit wine on the carpet and Arthur wasn’t having a seizure. There was definitely something weird happening. “How did that happen?”

Arthur walked closer to Merlin. “Can you keep a secret?” Merlin simply nodded. “I had her arrested.”

“What?” Merlin whispered.

“It was fairly simple. I hacked into the company’s files - thank you for the hacking tips by the way - I moved some company funds into Morgana’s account and then had an ‘anonymous’ tip delivered to my father. Like I said, fairly simple.” Arthur plopped down on the couch with a satisfied sigh.

Merlin gaped at him. He felt sick to his stomach again. What was happening to Arthur? “How could you do that, Arthur? She’s your sister.”

“And? Is that supposed to mean something.” Arthur looked at him sharply.

“Yes! It means she’s your family. You love her. You’re not supposed to frame her for a crime and act like it’s time to celebrate,” Merlin yelled.

“What is your problem?" Arthur stood up slowly. "You don’t even like Morgana. You were always the one telling me not to put up with her shit. But now that I do something about it, you’re whining like a little girl about it.”

“There’s a difference between not liking someone and being okay with that person being framed for a crime they didn’t commit and possibly going to prison. You used to understand that, Arthur. But ever since that night in the castle, something’s happened. Something is wrong with you.”

Arthur slowly advanced on Merlin and then pushed him. “How dare you act like there’s something wrong with me.” He pushed Merlin again. “There’s something wrong with me? This coming from the weirdest guy I’ve ever met? That is ridiculous.” He pushed Merlin again. Merlin stumbled backwards, closer to the wall with each push.

“Arthur, stop it.”

“Or what?” Arthur pushed him again.

“Arthur, please, I’m your friend. I want to help you.”

Arthur threw his head back and laughed. “You help me?!” Arthur laughed again. He suddenly stopped and shoved Merlin hard against the wall. He pinned him there by the neck.

Merlin struggled against him. “Arthur, please, I’m warning you.”

“ _You’re_ warning _me_?” He ignored Merlin’s squirming and moved in closer. He nosed along Merlin’s ear and whispered hotly into it. “Don’t think I don’t know that this is turning you on.” He pulled back and smirked at Merlin’s wide-eyed expression. “Do you think I’m stupid, Merlin? I’ve known about your _disgusting_ feelings for me, for quite some time. It was kind of amusing to watch you jump through hoops for me and give me your pathetic puppy dog eyes.” Arthur ran his hand down Merlin’s body and cupped his crotch. “Is this what you’ve always wanted, Merlin? Did you wank to thoughts of me ever wanting you like this?”

“Arthur, please stop,” Merlin pleaded brokenly. Tears were falling from his eyes.

Arthur looked into Merlin’s eyes. For a moment he saw something in Arthur’s eyes other than disgust, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. “What makes you think that I would ever want a pathetic poof like you?”

“STOP!” Merlin’s eyes flashed gold suddenly and Arthur was hurled across the room. Merlin fell to his knees trying to catch his breath. He quickly looked over at Arthur’s crumpled body. “Oh God!” He was so angry and his magic had come out of nowhere. He hated the things Arthur was saying, but he knew that it wasn’t really him. It couldn’t be. If he had seriously hurt Arthur he couldn’t live with himself. He closed his eyes.

_Arthur was dragging him to the cells below. Merlin was pleading with him. “Arthur, please don’t do this.”_

_Arthur threw him in one of the cells and slammed it closed. He turned to one of the guards. “He gets out and I will see you hanged personally.” He turned back to Merlin. “You’re not going anywhere.”_

Merlin gasped. He looked up and saw Arthur getting to his feet. He looked at Merlin as if seeing him for the first time. “Did you use magic?”

Merlin opened and closed his mouth several times, not knowing what to say. Arthur closed his eyes and seemed as if he was in a trance. Merlin knew he must be remembering something. When he looked back up at Merlin, his eyes darkened. Merlin had never seen Arthur look at him like that. He didn’t want, nor did he know if he would even be able to, use magic against Arthur again. He bolted to his room and locked the door. He expected Arthur to come banging on the door, but there was only silence. He crumpled against the door. He couldn’t keep living like this.

He stood up and walked to his bed and fell against it. He stared at a picture of his mother. “God, I wish you could help me right now.” He was suddenly hit with another vision.

_He saw his mother crumpled on the ground. She had gross boils on her face and was clearly in pain._

He flashed to another image of him and Gaius.

_”If the balance of the world needs a life, then Nimueh must take mine.”_

_“No, Merlin.”_

_“Yes. I must return to the island....I need to say good-bye to Arthur.”_

Merlin sat up in bed. Could that possibly be what Nimueh was talking about? Was it his life she felt she was owed? But if that were the case, how did he get out of sacrificing himself the first time? Merlin’s train of thought was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Merlin stiffened. He ignored the knock, hoping Arthur would go away.

There was another knock. “Merlin? Merlin, would you please come to the door? I’m so sorry about what happened before. You have magic. That’s pretty interesting. I know it took me awhile, but I believe you about our past life.”

Merlin stood up quickly. He went to the door, hesitating before opening it.

“I promise I won’t hurt you again, Merlin.”

Merlin opened the door a crack. “What do you want, Arthur?”

“I want to talk. I made you dinner.” Arthur smiled shyly.

Merlin’s heart - his stupid, all too trusting, betraying heart - melted a little. “What did you make?"

“Even though it’s completely disgusting and healthy in no way, I made your favorite - macaroni and cheese.”

Merlin smiled. “I thought you said you’d never deign to make such, in your words, atrocious swill.”

“After the things I said and I did, I think you’ve earned that and more.”

Merlin slowly opened the door. He followed Arthur to the dining room where two plates were set out, along with two full wine glasses and candlelight. “What’s with the candles?” Merlin asked warily, Arthur’s insults about his crush still running through his head.

“I thought it looked nicer like that,” Arthur explained.

Merlin appraised him for a moment before shrugging slightly and sitting down. Arthur sat opposite him. Merlin paused, before picking up his fork.

“A toast first.” Arthur picked up his wine glass.

Merlin hastily picked up his glass.

“To new beginnings.” Arthur said. He picked up his glass and lifted it.

_Merlin pleaded with Arthur. ‘Listen to me-_

_Arthur interrupted. “You know me, Merlin. I never listen to you.” He saluted Merlin and drank the poison._

_“Arthur, no!”_

Merlin put down his glass. “I hate to ask this, but there wouldn’t happen to be poison in this wine?”

Arthur looked affronted. “Merlin, I know I went a little crazy before, but I would never do that.” He got up and walked toward Merlin. Merlin shrunk against his seat. “Relax, Merlin.” Arthur touched Merlin’s shoulders and started kneading the muscles there. “It’s ok. You’ll be ok, Merlin.”

Merlin started to relax a little. Arthur did have amazing hands. This wasn’t the first time he’d given Merlin a friendly massage. Though Merlin usually had less than friendly thoughts going on. Merlin sighed. “You said before that you believed me about our past life.”

“Mm hmm,” Arthur said soothingly. “I did have one vivid memory.”

“Yeah.” Merlin was lost in the sensations of Arthur’s hands on his body. He opened his eyes and saw a knife hurtling toward his body. He only had split second to move. The knife caught on a part of his shirt. It tore a hole in his shirt as he fell to the ground.

Arthur grabbed the knife and pulled it away from where it became embedded in the chair. He lunged at Merlin again, as Merlin was crawling backwards on the ground.

“What are you doing?!” Merlin screamed.

“You tried to kill me, Merlin!”

“Are you insane?”

“I remember it, Merlin. It felt as real as this does now! After everything I’ve done for you, you tried to kill me!” Arthur landed on top of Merlin and raised the knife.

Merlin managed to raise his hand and fling the knife out of Arthur’s hands with his magic. He kicked a distracted Arthur off of him. He scrambled away and had almost got up when Arthur grabbed at his ankles. “Arthur, stop!” Merlin kicked back and hit Arthur in the eye, whipping his head back and loosening his grip on Merlin’s ankles.

Merlin ran for his room and locked the door. He tried to use magic to block the door with his dresser but it wasn’t working. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to figure out his next move. He couldn’t imagine why Arthur would ever think he would harm him.

_“There’s no coming back from this, Merlin. You can’t stop it.”_

_Merlin continued to pace behind Arthur. He had to do something, but he wasn’t sure how and he didn’t want to hurt Arthur. But he was afraid Arthur left him no choice. He lifted up his hand and tried to whisper a spell to knock Arthur out. Arthur turned just in time to see his eyes glow. His eyes bulged out of his head, before he fell forward unconscious._

“Oh, God!” Merlin mumbled. He couldn’t remember why he had done it, but he knew he was just trying to protect Arthur. Clearly, Arthur didn’t see it that way.

There was loud thud against the door. Arthur was trying to break it down. “Arthur, please listen to me! This is just a big misunderstanding” He laughed somewhat hysterically. “If you would just let me-” Another loud thud. The door was giving way.”...explain,” he finished. The door burst open and Arthur landed against the ground. Merlin put his hand up. “Arthur, don’t come any closer.”

“Are you going to use magic against me again?” Arthur got up.

“You don’t understand, Arthur. I was trying to protect you.”

“By using magic against me? What were you protecting me from?”

“Well...I don’t remember yet.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and advanced toward Merlin. He had a knife in his hand. “Magic is evil and all sorcerers should be punished.”

Merlin screamed in frustration. “That’s your father talking. I know that you don’t think all magic is evil. I know you don’t think I’m evil. One time I used magic against you, but not really. I’ve used it so many other times to save your life. Why can’t you remember that? Why can’t you remember any of the good?”

_”I had no idea you were so keen to die for me.”_

_“Trust me; I can hardly believe it myself,” Merlin grumbled._

_“I’m glad you’re here, Merlin.” Arthur smiled._

Arthur shook his head. “None of the good makes up for what you did and what you are.”

Arthur dived forward. Merlin hit his head hard, but managed to knock the knife out of Arthur’s hand. Arthur put his hands on Merlin’s neck and squeezed. Merlin tried to fight him off. “Arthur, please,” Merlin choked out.

“You’re wrong. Magic is wrong. You have to die.” Arthur continued to squeeze.

“Arthur, please. I love you,” Merlin said weakly. He started to lose consciousness.

_“I’m happy to be your servant...’til the day I die.”_

Several different images flashed before his eyes. He gasped awake. His eyes flying open. He threw Arthur backwards. Merlin got up slowly. “I remember.” He walked toward Arthur. He crouched down beside him as Arthur lifted his head up. “You have to remember, Arthur.” He reached down and kissed Arthur.

Arthur pushed him off. “What the hell are you doing, Merlin?”

Merlin ignored him and grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. Arthur responded briefly, before pulling away.

_Are you ever going to change, Merlin?”_

_“No, you’d get bored.”_

_Arthur laughed, gingerly prodding his injured shoulder. He would never admit to Merlin that he was right._

_“Promise me this, if you get another servant don’t get a bootlicker.”_

_“If this is you trying to leave your job..._

_“No...I’m happy to be your servant, ‘til the day I die.”_

_Arthur scrutinized Merlin. Something was wrong. He’d known Merlin long enough and he’d never seen him like this before. Arthur liked to tease Merlin about being strange, but this was something entirely different. “Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times...”_

_“Well, I know you. You’re a great warrior. One day you’ll be a great king,” Merlin said sincerely._

_“That’s very kind of you.” Arthur was more than a little worried now and didn’t know how to take the compliment._

_“But you must learn to listen as well as you fight.”_

_There was the over stepping Merlin he knew and...”Any other pointers?”_

_“No...That’s it. Just don’t be a prat.”_

_Arthur knew something was wrong, but he also knew Merlin wouldn’t tell him. Merlin left._

Arthur gasped and fell back against the wall. Merlin could see it was all starting to come back to him, too.

_“What the hell were you thinking?” Arthur grabbed Merlin’s arm._

_Merlin looked at him wide-eyed, honestly confused. He was just getting ready for his trip back to the Isle of the Blessed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”_

_Arthur let go of his arm. “I know you’re very adept at playing dumb, Merlin but don’t try it now. Gaius told me everything.” Merlin looked around, noticing Gaius’ absence for the first time. “He’s not here; I wanted to talk to you alone.” Merlin sighed. “You have done a lot of dumb things, Merlin, but this has to be the worst.”_

_“What, saving your life?”_

_“Making a deal with a witch. What makes you think I would want you to do something so foolish?”_

_Merlin got in Arthur’s face. “You may be the prince, but I don’t have to run every decision I make by you. If you think, I’m going to apologize for saving you, think again.”_

_Arthur balled his hands up. He admired Merlin’s bravery but he was so incensed at Merlin’s actions. “And now your mother is paying the price.”_

 _Merlin swallowed hard, looking back to his room where his mother slept fitfully. “I know. That’s why I’m going back and making this right.”_

_“By killing yourself properly this time? It’s not happening, Merlin,” Arthur firmly stated. “I was the one bitten by the questing beast. I was supposed to die. I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself for me. Not again.”_

_“Why are you being such a stubborn arse? You’re the prince. You’re the once and future king. Camelot needs you, not me. My life is nothing compared to yours.”_

_“Stop saying that." Arthur grabbed him once again. "Your life is not worth less than mine. There are so many people who love you and need you, Merlin. Your mother, Gaius, Gwen...me.”_

_“You?” Merlin blinked at Arthur slowly._

_Arthur took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Yes.” He stroked Merlin’s cheek softly. “I love you.” He leaned down and kissed Merlin tenderly. Merlin was too shocked to respond at first, but quickly pressed back, winding his arms around Arthur’s neck and running his hands through his hair. Arthur pulled Merlin flush against his body and opened his mouth, deepening the kiss._

_Merlin was breathless as they parted. He held Arthur’s face in his hands. “I love you, too.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Prat.” Merlin chuckled._

_Arthur sighed. “So does this mean you’ll finally, _finally_ do what you’re told and let me handle this?”_

_“No.” Merlin smiled._

_“Merlin, I love you but you are the most infuriating man I’ve ever met,” Arthur groaned._

_“I could say the same to you. Just because you love me, doesn’t mean I’m going to just do whatever you tell me and let you sacrifice yourself. So I guess we’re at an impasse.”_

_“The thing is Merlin, I’m still the crown prince of Camelot and you’re not.” He kissed Merlin again. “I’m sorry.”_

_“Sorry about what?” Merlin furrowed his brow._

_Arthur grabbed his arm and hauled him down to the cells. Merlin was pleading with him. “Arthur, please don’t do this.”_

_Arthur threw him in one of the cells and slammed it closed. He turned to one of the guards. “He gets out and I will see you hanged personally.” He turned back to Merlin. “You’re not going anywhere.”_

_“Arthur, I’m begging you." Merlin ran to the cell door. He grabbed Arthur’s hand. "Please, don’t do this. I can’t do this without you.”_

_“And I can’t live with you giving up your life for me." Arthur squeezed his hand. "I will do whatever I have to, to protect you.” Despite the guard’s presence, he grabbed Merlin’s face and kissed him soundly. “Thank you, Merlin.”_

Merlin crawled over to Arthur. He was still staring straight ahead in a daze. “Do you remember, Arthur?”

Arthur gave him a long, lingering kiss. “I remember. I remember everything.” Merlin laughed, and then punched Arthur in the arm. “Ow, what the hell was that for?”

“For locking me in that dungeon and being an idiot.”

Arthur rubbed at his arm. “Let’s forget the fact that I did it to _protect you_. But there’s also the small matter of you being just as big of an idiot as I am. Or do I need to give you a reminder that you knocked me out with magic.

_By the time, Merlin managed to get out of the dungeon and to the Isle of the Blessed, it was too late. Nimueh was already gone._

_Arthur looked at him in surprise. “God, I’m going to kill that guard.”_

_“What do you do, Arthur?” Merlin asked, panicking already._

_“I saved your mother.”_

_“In exchange for your life?”_

_“No,” Arthur answered._

_“No?” Merlin scratched his head. “What else could she want?”_

_“My soul.”_

_Merlin gasped and covered his mouth. “You-you-you didn’t?”_

_“I had to Merlin. It’s what she wanted all along,” Arthur explained._

_Merlin covered his face and moaned in despair. He started to pace. “There has to be some way to fix this.”_

_“There isn’t. Come sunrise my soul is hers.” Arthur walked closer to him. “She said if I, you, or anyone else try and double-cross her, she’ll take your soul instead.”_

_“I don’t care.”_

_“Well I do! There’s no coming back from this, Merlin. You can’t stop it.”_

_Merlin continued to pace behind Arthur. He had to do something, but he wasn’t sure how and he didn’t want to hurt Arthur. But he was afraid Arthur left him no choice. He lifted up his hand and tried to whisper a spell to knock Arthur out. Arthur turned just in time to see his eyes glow. His eyes bulged out of his head, before he fell forward unconscious._

“You didn’t really leave me much of a choice.” Merlin helped Arthur up.

“Merlin, I want you to know that I love you.” Arthur looked at Merlin strangely.

“Arthur, you know I love you, too."

“But you need to get away from me.”

“Why would you say that?” Merlin recoiled in shock.

“Because I still feel strange. When we were in Camelot, I mean when we were in Camelot a few days ago, when we got separated Nimueh was there. She did something to me. I think she took my soul.”

Suddenly, Merlin was zapped with some kind of magic and fell down.

“Merlin!” A stunned Arthur exclaimed.

“Well, you’re half right, I’ll give you that.”

Arthur looked up at the voice in shock, stunned to see Nimueh standing in the doorway, looking the same as the last time he saw her, same wavy black hair, tattered red dress, and ocean blue eyes and the same aggravating over-confidence. “What the hell are you doing here?” He felt for Merlin’s pulse and sighed in relief when he found it.

“I came here for what is mine - the rest of your soul. You see we were interrupted the last time we were together.” Nimueh sauntered into the room.

“You have half of my soul?”

“Yes.” Nimueh picked up the amulet in the necklace around her neck. It was half red and half clear. “It’s in here.” Arthur made a move to charge at her. She raised her hand and pushed him back with her magic. “I wouldn’t do anything if I were you. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to your precious Merlin.”

“Why are you here now?” Arthur knelt back down and held Merlin.

“I told you. I want the other half of your soul. It has been entertaining to watch you in your newly partially soulless state. There was a part of me hoping to see you dispatch of Merlin for me. Unfortunately, too much of your soul remained and your love for Merlin is too strong for you to not be completely useless. And I’m tired of waiting. So Arthur, we’re going on a little trip.”

~*~

_”How is this supposed to help me save Arthur?”_

_“With the right spell and someone with enough power, the amulet can be used as a vessel in which we can trap souls or entities inside. If you can capture Nimueh, then you will be able save Prince Arthur.”_

Merlin came to with a start. The druid man - Iseldir (he was so grateful to finally put a name to the face) - was standing over him. “Emrys, we don’t have much time.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Merlin stood up and glared at Iseldir.

“It was not my place to interfere. I was merely here to watch over you and only get involved when the high priestess showed herself.”

“You should have warned me.” Merlin shook his head. “I don’t have time to worry about that now. Nimueh’s taken Arthur, hasn’t she?”

“She’s gone back to Camelot. She has the amulet with her,” Iseldir provided.

“I don’t even know why I bothered with that amulet in the first place. I should have just killed her,” Merlin grumbled.

“Your powers were nowhere near strong enough to take on a powerful priestess like Nimueh. And the druids do not believe in solving our problems with violence. I didn’t think you were like that Emrys.”

“I don’t like the idea of killing anyone any more than you do, but Nimueh is evil and she has tried to kill me and those I love too many times. I can’t stand by and let her hurt anyone else.”

“You may be a powerful warlock, Emrys but you haven’t used your powers for many, many years. I do not believe you are a match for Nimueh.”

“Then you don’t know me as well as you believe,” Merlin declared. “I will do whatever it takes to protect, Arthur.

~*~

Merlin went alone to confront Nimueh. Iseldir did not believe it was wise, but Merlin felt he could handle himself and that Iseldir would never approve of what Merlin knew he would have to do. When he got to the decrepit remains of the palace, he braced himself for the sounds of Arthur’s anguished cries, but the place was eerily calm and quiet. It put him even more on edge. He crept through the halls, knowing exactly where Nimueh would be.

He approached Arthur’s former chambers carefully. When he arrived, he saw Arthur on the ground. It took everything in him not to rush forward. He approached the room carefully; he saw no sign of Nimueh. He feared that he might be too late. How would he ever find Nimueh again if she had gone and taken Arthur’s soul with her? He raced towards Arthur and cradled his face in his hands. “Arthur?” He shook him a little. “Arthur, please what has she done to you?"

“Exactly what I promised to centuries ago.” Nimueh smirked. “You are so predictable, Merlin. I knew you couldn’t resist checking on your beloved prince.” Her blues eyes turned steely. “You will pay for enslaving me for all these years.” She raised her hand and tried to blast her magic at him, but he managed to duck. He tried shooting his own magic at her, but she deflected it without breaking a sweat.

“And to think people call you the greatest warlock that has ever lived.” She laughed cruelly. “If only they could see you now.” She conjured up a ball of fire and aimed it at him. He didn’t duck out of the way this time and it got him square in the chest. He landed next to Arthur.

Merlin looked over at Arthur and images flashed before his eyes: meeting Arthur for the first time, saving Gaius’ life, the first time Arthur told him he loved him. He remembered for the first time what it was like when Arthur was finally king and lifted the ban on magic. He thought of how allowing magic users freedom changed Camelot forever and helped unite Albion and create one of the most prosperous and peaceful times in history. He thought of how he grew from a boy who was just learning how to use his magic and how he grew into a fierce warlock who was by Arthur’s side for the rest of their lives. He may not have used magic for years, but that didn’t matter. He was born with magic. It came to him as easily as breathing. He would not be defeated by such a cruel magic.

Nimueh conjured up another fireball and stood over Merlin. “I have Arthur’s soul and I get to have my revenge on you. I could not think of anything more just.” Before she could hit Merlin with it, his eyes flashed gold and the fireball disintegrated in her hand.

“You should never have underestimated me.” Merlin stood up quickly. He used his power to trap Nimueh against the wall.

Finally Nimueh’s cool façade cracked slightly. “Perhaps you’re stronger than I thought.” She smiled thinly. “But I know you’re not strong enough to enslave me again.”

“Who said anything about enslaving you?” Nimueh’s smile fell. She tried to use her magic, but Merlin wouldn’t let her. He walked up to her and snatched the necklace from around her neck. He put his hand to her chest and she started to convulse, her face contorted in pain as she started to incinerate from the inside out. Soon she was a pile of ash at Merlin’s feet.

Merlin gasped, falling to the ground, using that much magic after so many years took its toll on him. He crawled over to Arthur. He smashed the amulet to the ground. He looked back at Arthur. He had expected him to gasp awake, but he was still motionless.

“Arthur?” He shook him. “Wake up, you prat! You are not leaving me, do you understand? Five hundred years together is not nearly long enough.” He kissed Arthur. He pulled back. “Alright, I suppose you’re not really the Snow White type, though you certainly act like a spoiled princess at times.” Merlin put his face in his hands and groaned. “God, why aren’t you waking up?”

“Perhaps I just don’t like being insulted.”

Merlin’s head snapped up and he was overjoyed to see the smug smile on Arthur’s face. “Arthur!” He threw his arms around him and squeezed.

“Mer-Merlin!” Arthur wheezed. He pried Merlin’s arms from around his neck. “I just got my soul back, if you crushed the life out of me, it might be a little awkward."

“I missed you.” Merlin laughed, cupping Arthur’s cheek.

“I missed you, too.” Arthur caressed Merlin’s hand.

They leaned in and kissed slowly and deeply. Arthur pulled back and looked into Merlin’s eyes. He remembered the first time he and Merlin made love. The happiness he felt when Merlin agreed to be his consort. The heartbreak the first time Merlin died before him. He remembered the immense relief and bliss the first time they were reincarnated and their memories came back to him; remembering his love for Merlin never stopped being one of the great joys of his many lives.

Merlin’s eyes began to well up suddenly. “I really thought I’d lost you again.” In their previous life, Arthur had died young. Merlin had to spend fifty years without him, the longest amount of time he and Arthur had ever been apart. He had barely survived that; he couldn’t imagine having to do it again. 

“I’m alright." Arthur wiped his tears. "It’s going to be okay, Merlin.” He took Merlin’s hands in his and brought them to their feet. “I don’t know about you, but I could sleep for a week.”

“We’re finally together again and all you can think about is sleeping?” Merlin furrowed his brow.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I just had my soul ripped out of my chest, I think I earned a little nap time.”

“Oh no," Merlin groaned. "I’m never going to hear the end of this ‘losing your soul’ business, am I? ‘It’s your turn to take the garbage out, Arthur…But I lost my soul for you.’”

Arthur looped his arm through Merlin's and led them out of the room. “You know that’s not bad. I’ll have to remember that. You know you’re smarter than you look."

Merlin just shook his head fondly. They bickered the whole way home and he loved it. He loved it even more when Arthur caved and they had sex. This is how it always was with them. No matter how different their lives were, their relationship never changed - sex, love, magic, and petty arguments. They wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
